New Year's Resolutions

as a stickied post

I. Relearn the art of writing a diary

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, I used to write diaries. In fact, I have a boxful of notebooks with all the best and the worst of my pre-teen to teenage years. Now I write down yesterdays in a handful of blogs that I delete-create-delete. It's no longer tangible, nor a personal exercise. It was supposed to help me discover who I realy am, not distort or exagerrate the person I was.

I also miss the doodling. I miss drawing because I used to be so good. Now my hands feel useless. The pencil doesn't respond to my touch anymore. So Resolution # 2 is...

 

II. Draw

By the end of the year I want to have a painting, a proper painting in a canvas that I can hang somewhere. And the road to that goal is practice, practice, practice. I also have to save up for the costs, obviously. The canvas, the paints, the paintbrushes (because I lost all the good ones I had)

 

III. Read a new book every month

First on the list, the classics. They are really cheap, ranging from 100-150 pesos a piece. I should be able to buy one every month.

 

IV. Go to yoga class regularly/Learn a new yoga pose every week

Now there. Yoga was my new year's resolution this year, and come October, I slid back to the old lazy, resentful, depressed me. Yoga really makes me happy and peaceful and I want to have that again.

 

V. Learn a new recipe every month

Pretty realistic? I think so. Nobody in our household cooks regularly, my mom is too sick to cook everyday for us. And being the aspiring Stepford wife that I am, I simply MUST learn how to cook.

 

VI. Graduate from piano class

Once I entered college, I stopped taking piano lessons. And I'm so damn close. My parents bought me a real upright piano for my 18th birthday and I never got around to using it. So Step One, have the piano tuned, and Step Two, bring on the Hanon!

 

The nursing diagnosis teaches us that a goal must be SMART, in order to be effective. Meaning, Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-bound. So I've drawn my battleplan for 2009. In essence, my new year's resolutions are a step towards achieving the things I want to accomplish in my lifetime. If I couldn't take Fine Arts or Conservatory of Music, I will help myself. Step by step.

How about my New Year's Wishes?

 

I. Get a job

A job that pays. If things fall into place I'll have a job that pays by June. I really, really hope that it will push through because if not, I will take ANY job just to have sweldo.

 

II. Move out

I just want to have my own space and my independence. I'm aware that doing so will mean I have to pay for rent, the electricity, the water, my groceries and gasul. I will have to take care of my laundry and wash my dishes. I will be responsible for turning off all appliances and lights when I leave the house and locking all doors when I go to sleep. I'm also aware that it means I will no longer have a 24-hour internet connection and cable TV. And I'm prepared. And if I'm way in over my head, there's no better way to learn than to experience things first-hand.

 

And a really selfish and completely shallow wishlist:

1. A 24-inch waistline

2. The pink Sony VAIO laptop (with MS Office, Adobe CS3, and DSL)

3. A matching pink Cybershot (see? I'm so mabait. I won't even ask for a Holga)

4. A new iPod with speaker

XOXO,
zoya

We're people, too.

Filed under: Nursing

So today I was on hospital duty, and then I got sick.

Kinda ironic, isn't it. I'm a nurse, who gets sick, in a hospital. I rushed to the ER crying because of a tummyache that makes me tremble in my knees and leaves me all hot and cold. (Like that Kate Perry song. Anyway.)

The nurses and doctors were very nice about. I bet they feel sorry for me. The doctor gave me a shot in my left arm. I was so scared, really. You'd think after three years of poking people with a needle and a few months' stint in a blood bank, I wouldn't be scared of sharpies... Oh boy are you wrong.

And now the tummy pain is gone, but I'm feeling really woozy. So that explains the hurling-vomit-themed image on my new layout, and yes that's a person doing the lotus pose while wearing a nurse's cap.

 

Ooh. And I'm feeling kinda Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy! right now. Real bright and shiny. "I'm so bright and shiny, I'm Mary freakin' Poppins!" kind of happy.

Or maybe it's the meds. Meh. No wonder people do drugs.

XOXO,
zoya

Good morning.

Filed under: Issues

You know that story in The Little Prince?

To paraphrase him,

 

I'm depressed

because I'm fat.

 I'M FAT

because I eat a lot.

I eat a lot

because I'm depressed.

XOXO,
zoya

Single-Serving Friends

Filed under: Drama Bruhaha Soundtrack: Shut Up and Drive - Rihanna

Everywhere I travel, tiny life. Single-serving sugar, single-serving cream, single pat of butter. The microwave Cordon Bleu hobby kit. Shampoo-conditioner combos, sample-packaged mouthwash, tiny bars of soap. The people I meet on each flight? They're single-serving friends.

- Fight Club

 

I never was good at saying goodbye. You remind me that everytime you can. You point out the flaws, like you cut through my skin and pour vinegar in it. You make me wince.

You are by far, the most vulgar, the most lasting of all single-serving friends I have.

 

Not that I think my friends are single-serving. I actually think that they're the ones who lingers too long. Like one night stands who'd like to know my name and phone number. I don't socialize. I don't associate. I don't empathize. At least, not really.

I can fake it.

I am the one who is single-serving.

XOXO,
zoya

A Poem For Two

Filed under: Drama Bruhaha Soundtrack: Sour Cherry:

 

 

He doesn't care about my Friendster

So I'll pretend that I don't, either.

 

 

 

XOXO,
zoya